Gender Neutral: Why We Chose Not To Know


So as I sit here at 38 weeks, making the most of this wonderfully large bump which is soon to disappear- along with the peace and quiet- I thought that now is probably a good time to write about our decision not to find out about the sex of our baby, before this little one arrives and everything else fades into the distance!

Before I begin, let me start by saying that there is absolutely nothing wrong in wanting to find out the sex of your baby, or for having a gender preference. This little musing rambling is just a personal account as to why Ored and I decided not to find out the sex of our baby. In no way am I casting judgement or aspirations on any parent that has done the opposite.

We pretty much decided from day one, not to find out the sex of our baby. There are very few complete surprises in life and we figured that this was one of the few left that we could enjoy. Being laid back and easy going, both of us have found not knowing very easy. Perhaps if we were guided more by being in control of things, we might have struggled, but as it turned out, we were more than OK with awaiting our little March surprise.

So when people asked us “What do you think you’re having?”  we always drew a blank, because in all honesty, we hadn’t given it a second thought. Whereas some couples might eagerly and excitedly guess the gender of their baby throughout the pregnancy (with the help of myths and old wives tales) we were too busy conjuring up images of what we knew to be true- whichever sex-this’ll be one hairy baby!

Some people seemed to be under the impression that somehow what we we were doing was ‘noble’ even ‘brave,’ but truth be told, we just weren’t-and still aren’t- fussed about gender. Maybe fussed isn’t the most sweetest of terms but it’s sentiment rings true. Our main concern, as with all parents, was to have a happy and healthy baby and anything beyond that, we just couldn’t quite comprehend.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that neither of us dreamt of having children, so we never had the opportunity of daydreaming about having a little girl running around the house or a small boy curled up in bed.

Either way, there’s been something incredibly liberating about having to think outside of the box when it comes to our little one. Of being able to choose playful yellows and striking turquoises over the conventional pink and blue clothing. Or being allowed the freedom to get super creative with our nursery theme, in order to keep the room as fun, playful and neutral as possible for either gender.

And that really got me thinking. I mean, if I feel liberated from the gender stereotypes, imagine how our child will feel? Hopefully he/she will be able to forge their own way in the world without already being told from birth what toys he/she shouldn’t like and what clothes he/she shouldn’t wear.

And isn’t that the best surprise of all?



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s